just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
