I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
