Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
