Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This Girlâ€™s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.