this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
