I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
