butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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