I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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