College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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