Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
