i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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