I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ok first of all what the fuck
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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