Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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