He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
