do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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