ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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