so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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