ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
