real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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