Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.