She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
