I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"