Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ya dads aren't the best wingmen

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(248): ya dads aren't the best wingmen http://tfl.nu/uy2v

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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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(757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp

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(317): View more from Indiana

its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.

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(317): its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated. http://tfl.nu/cjuf

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(513): View more from Ohio

Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

(513): View more from Ohio

She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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(513): Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen. (1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do. (513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses. http://tfl.nu/52u6

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(214): View more from Texas

Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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(214): Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer. http://tfl.nu/r45y

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(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

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(850): The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight. http://tfl.nu/6ch9

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

there not mine if that helps

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(717): why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter (1-717): there not mine if that helps http://tfl.nu/k00a

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(310): View more from California

Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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(310): Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide http://tfl.nu/450d

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht

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(859): View more from Kentucky

well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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(859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl

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(256): View more from Alabama

I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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(256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt

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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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(901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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(208): Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often http://tfl.nu/tod9

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(707): View more from California

I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.

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(707): I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies. http://tfl.nu/fb0w

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(810): View more from Michigan

you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.

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(810): you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam. http://tfl.nu/qr51

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