Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner

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(641): View more from Iowa

Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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(314): View more from Missouri

He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.

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(239): View more from Florida

You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.

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(408): View more from California

If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical

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(604): View more from British Columbia

he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL

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