dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.