I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.