It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
