The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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