why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize