Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize