Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
