we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
