I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
