you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
