If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize