This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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