i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
