Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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