I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
