nut hugger
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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