Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
