Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
