fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
