i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So apparently I’m into choking now
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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