He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
