I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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