Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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