ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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