question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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