dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
