i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
