Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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