I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
