Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
