Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just tell him i said nine months
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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