I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
