So drunk its hurt
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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