She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
