That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I will pee on everything he values.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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