her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
