The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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