Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
