the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize