when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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