You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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