i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize