I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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