Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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